It seems that ANYONE can blog, so why not me?

Very recently (I’d say about 5 minutes ago), I decided to start keeping a blog. It’s just that sometimes I have something to say and there is no one around to say it to. If my random musing is more than 140 characters, I can’t put it on Twitter. If my current activity isn’t formatted as “Shannon is…” I can’t put it on Facebook. I could call someone, but I really don’t like talking on the phone; it’s exasperating. I could walk to OrangeTree and talk to Sarah, but that is a surprisingly long walk (all uphill) and I’m just not willing to do it. Texting seems to be a viable option, but it makes my fingers hurt and takes a long time.

The great thing about a blog is that I can say whatever I want without necessarily requiring, expecting, or even wanting a response. This is not the case with conversation, phone calls, or Facebook messages. With those forms of communication, I’m going to get a response. And it is normally not what I want to hear. One example of this comes from a recent conversation with my mother. We were discussing Scott McIntyre’s awkwardness on American Idol.

Me: Whatever talent he MAY have is offset by his general awkwardness. Also, given that both he, his sister, and his brother have similar developmental problems, I can only assume that the problems are a result of generations of inbreeding in his Podunk Arkansas hometown.

Expected Response from mother: How insightful! You really see through the surface of a crappy television program like American Idol and use the limited exposition given about each character to create a structured argument about the American family structure.

Actual Response from mother: That’s an awful thing to say about someone! Who taught you it was okay to say things like that?!

Um… you did, Mom.

Anyways, I think you can see where I’m going with this. Actual human interaction is usually a disappointment, so I’m going to try to supplement that disappointment with this self-indulgent blog.

So here are a couple ground rules:

• I estimate that around 45% of things that I say are generally awkward, 25% are offensive, 35% are mundane and not worth your time, 12% are funny, and 3% are quite funny. Perhaps <5%>
• Back in high school, I attempted other forms of “internet self-expression” such as Xanga and Livejournal. Both of these ventures were complete failures. I expect if I write two more entries in this blog in the next two months, it will be considered a success.
• This is designed to be a BLOG. Not a “diary.” If this divulges into some play-by-play of my day-to-day activities, please GOD someone stop me. It’s pathetic enough that my nightly routine consists of watching the Food Network Challenge at 6pm while cooking dinner followed up by whatever Reality Television programming is gracing the TV lineup and ending with me crashing into bed before10pm. Nobody else should be subjected to that. Keep me in check, friends.

That’s about it for now.

Shannon